a few days ago, I saw a note on Facebook that had the title, "Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Loved", or something to that effect. feeling somewhat sentimental, and also mildly depressed and in need of a pickmeup, I clicked and proceeded to read. most of the tips were "aww, yeah, that'd be nice" moments for girls and "does she seriously want me to do that?" moments for guys; things like, "send her random texts/messages" and "when she's upset, just listen. don't rationalize her worries or try to explain.". then, however, was something that me audibly headdesk: "Kiss her on the forehead or cheek. nice girls, ones like me, much prefer that to a full blown makeout session."

what. the. fuck.

don't get me wrong. I'm very much a "whatever floats your ferret" kind of guy, and normally an opinion contrary to mine will just make me shrug and go about my buisiness, but I HATE it when it's implied that sexual contact is dirty or slutty, and society (let me stop here for a moment to say that when I meantion "society", I mean American society, as I do not know enough about Eastern, Mid-Eastern, African or European society to analyze them) seems to think that sex is somehow wrong, or that nice girls don't fuck.

I like to think of myself as a Renaissance man, and I have yet to find a religion or culture that actively condemns marital sex between a man and a woman. many of them frown upon premarital, extramarital, or homosexual sex, but everyone seems to agree that heterosexuals having marital sex is all well and good, even if some religions say it should only be for procreation's sake.

the problem here is that we were all told, growing up, that sex itself was wrong and we shouldn't be having it. we were told that sex was "dirty", "naughty", and "sinful", and that whoever had it was going to Hell. I myself don't think that anyone is going to be Judged for having consensual sex, but even if we're talking those strict Christians/Muslims/Jews who happen to have some very ironclad thoughts about sex, what they SHOULD have been saying is that extramarital/premarital/homosexual sex is wrong, and that married sex is perfectly okay.

but they didn't, and so now we've got a whole slew of people (the ones who were "nice" kids growing up: the obedient ones who ate their vegetables, did their homework, and cleaned their room when asked) thinking that sex is wrong, even in a context that their religion/culture says is okay, because somebody fucked up and didn't add an adjective. they grew up believing that there was something inherently wrong about sex, and now, even though they intellectually know that it's okay to have sex with your spouse, they're still going to hesitate and feel bad about doing it, because of the indoctrination that so many American teenagers had growing up.

I am actually pretty fond of the girl who posted that note, and I know she probably didn't mean to offend anyone or imply that girls who prefer making out aren't "nice", but no matter who you are, there is nothing inherently WRONG about a woman genuinely enjoying making love to her husband.

before I get onto a rant about how woman/woman and man/man sex is okay too (and any other consensual pairing), I'm going to end this rant with a quote from the Bible: "go forth and multiply". which, by the way, requires sex.